Posted on: July 19, 2022
We all know about the importance of self-care. Everyone seems to be talking about how important it is. We can list the typical things we should do – sleep for 7 to 9 hours, engage in mindful meditation, eat nutritious meals, exercise consistently, and complete the day with a warm bath. Although the standard formula for self-care appears straightforward, the truth is self-care can be incredibly HARD. It often feels like something else to add to our already long list of "to-do's" and when we can't achieve it, it can become another thing to add to the guilt pile.
Undoubtedly, self-care requires time, discipline and work. Getting to bed on time is vital to overall well-being. However, bedtime is the often the only opportunity for some alone time with Netflix. Healthy meals require pre-planning and shopping days in advance. Exercise needs to be scheduled in between work shifts and children's soccer practice.
Throw in a holiday or an unexpected house repair, and self-care doesn't seem to have a fighting chance. It's important to acknowledge these realities and how we can sometimes, inadvertently, turn something initially meant to help us, into something we feel we're failing at.
I recently read an article that resonated with me and reframed self-care as a process, not a “to do" list. Blogger SK Camille put it this way, “self-care is an intention, and a process of experimentation and learning, to discover what you, individually, need and want. It's learning how to honor yourself in your choices, actions, and habits."
Integrating effective self-care into our busy lives is a challenge, and we need to be compassionate with ourselves. When we're used to outputting high levels at work, it's also difficult to settle into downtime. But we can gently start by looking for compromises and solutions that fit with our energy levels. Keep in mind that your self-care doesn't need to look like anyone else's.
There is no single definition of self-care, nor is there a universal understanding of what sorts of practices fall within the scope of self-care. Self-care needs to be approachable and flexible, not intimidating and rigid.
How to create a self-care routine that works for you
To get started with a self-care routine, experts suggest:
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Determine which activities bring you joy, replenish your energy, and restore your balance.
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Reflect on how you feel with the activity and how you want to feel. Make decisions that cultivate those desired feelings you're seeking.
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Start small by choosing one behavior you'd like to incorporate into your routine in the next week.
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Build up to practicing that behavior every day for one week.
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Add in additional practices when ready.
Get support through sharing practices from loved ones, a coach, a licensed professional (like a therapist or dietitian).
Here are some ideas to ease you into your self-care journey.
Start small. Are you going to do it perfectly every day? Of course not. Maybe you try one of these ideas, and if it just didn't give you the peaceful boost you were hoping for, try another:
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Go to bed 15 minutes early
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Unfollow someone on social media who is negative or brings you down
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Turn your phone off for 30 minutes
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Plant a herb garden on your window sill
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Schedule time to breathe
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Change your digital password to a mantra, for example I am worthy at the age of 47 = “Iamworthy47*"
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Eat Breakfast
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Declutter your desk at home or in the office.
If you find yourself struggling to do the things you know you need to do, take note that you are likely overextended—and not at your best. Instead of adding to what is already feeling overwhelming, try to recognize the realities of your overwhelm and give yourself a break.
Please use the comments below to share self-care practices that have been helpful for you.